me explaining sailor moon to my husband
me: so there is like a senshi for every planet...
him: and every moon? like are there senshi for like other satellites or...
me: no! just the mo- well okay, yes technically if you get further into the mythology of Naoko's world but for all our purposes in Sailor Moon 101 no, just the planets and Earth's Moon okay and oh wait okay, all the planets, plus Pluto, and no Sailor Earth
him: Not Earth?! Why-
me: JUST SHUT UP THAT'S WHY okay, so first you have Sailor Mercury - she's like-
him: burning hot because Mercury's a million degrees?
me: no, her attacks are water-based because Naoko used astrology as a guide and she's a quiet genius
him: what if she was loud and a genius?
me: then she'd be a different character? I don't know just-- okay, so-
him: why are they superheros?
him: like why? are they like FROM these planets?
me: no, no they are regular Earth schoolgirls except, yes, okay there is are reason but I'm *getting to that* let me at least introdu-
him: so is it passed down to them like from other super heros?
me: NO, it's not passed down, it's not bitten by a radioactive anything, it's not Batman-y oh-I'mma-dress-like-a-bat-cuz-my-parents-are-dead it's just there is a REASON but it's not really what-- okay. PLANETS.
him: so Mercury was first?
me: NO, Sailor Moon was first but like, okay you said you didn't need chronological order! I was doing distance from the sun!!
him: YOU SAID THEY WERE ALL FROM EARTH!
me: oh god.
him: okay. So Sailor Moon...?
me: so there is a schoolgirl named Tsukino Usagi, and she finds this cat okay? And rescues it from some bullies and it turns out it's a talking cat and tells her she's Sailor Moon, and she fights a monster and after a few episodes of her fighting monsters she finds another Tokyo schoolgirl named Ami Mizuno and they fight together-- and then --
him: you didn't get to Mars.
me: Or Venus, either, actually --
him: How come there is no Earth?
me: okay so-
him: is there some sort of future like do they pass it down to someone, are they fighting toward some thing for when they retire-
me: YES, yes, yes but that's like episode 80-something and I'm on like episode 1 and you are talking Crystal Tokyo stuff
him: CRYSTAL Tokyo?
him: that doesn't sound very seismically secure
me: we're done